Unlearn,crash and burn
But remember
Not everyone's a phoenix

किसी ने कहा की चिन्गारी लगती है
तभी आग उठता है
हाय रे मैं बेवकूफ
सच मान बैठा
चिन्गारी की ताक मे सब कुछ हार बैठा.

Sie sind nicht Ubermensch

So you just wanted to win it,right? Then why dint you tell you me that you dint actually want
IT and just the pleasure of winning over it...

I myself got to know it now dear.And now when it has come to an end with me as the victorious, I am happy and suffering.One has to make a choice of what he wants.I made mine.And at the end only thing you say to yourself is that " If i had another chance , only if i had another life, only if i could go back and live it again,I would have made the choice i dint.

So,you say that you should have made the second choice.Is not it?

You don't get it dear.I said ,I wish i had made it otherwise.And so my present is as good,or bad,as it would have been otherwise.

P.S : Do boond pee hi liya toh kya...shit yaar nahi bhi peeta toh bhi kya....

Experience, he said, he wanted to, everything. Everything in this world-some known to the people and some unknown."I want to know ",He said. I could see the pace of his speech was increasing.He was getting anxious,his body had started trembling and his convictions convinced him lesser now.Perplexed,he looked at me with those enquiring eyes if i had guessed the doubts he suddenly had in his own thoughts. The thoughts of which he was so sure at the very last moment.The thoughts with which he thought he would revolutionize the minds of the people around him at the least if not the whole world.
I ,addicted to dissecting whats said and heard around like a liberal adding ambiguity to every simple philosophy by any simple man,started wondering on what he meant when he started and what happened thereafter........................................

Oh dear dear!! Ignorance is bliss!!!

and then i ask who is big, who is bigger and who greater or the greatest is??
Kya hain sab : aadarsh, ethics, sapne, josh,kisi ke liye jaan dena,kisi ke liye 1st aana.
Is the yardstick hidden somewhere in these branches of emotions or is the liberal right, searching for answers for everything on earth,by putting his own head in his own ass, raising questions on them himself??
Isn't Life a joke???But when he laughs for no reason,you laugh at him,call him mad.No fault of yours- You are also me.
Somebody rightly said: had it not been funny how tragic it would be.
Jo rote hain woh bhi sahi hain aur jo haste hain wo bhi. Coz with life you can do only two things.Either laugh or cry..aur dono kiya toh baat hi kya hai...jeet li chhoti si zindagi ko...

Run...Daudo yaar...Bhaago...Jeet lo...Jeet li toh hanso and if lost ...Cry....

what if i die now?
will i be numb,white or nothing?
And my past?Will it be a story,
a life or nothing?
HehehehEhEHeHehehe
Family?
related,living or nothing?
Friends?Girlfriends?girls?
ideas,dreams..................?
What if i die now?
heheheheHEHEhEhEhE
WILL I BE?

No pain as great as the palpitation of this anxious heart , no pleasure as great either.

Of life and times,
the love, the lust and their rhymes,
the cravings and how it sublimes,
Of this second and that year,
Of me , Of her and of them,
I sit to write

P.S : I am afraid, I am anxious,I want to die.

White

Words,children of anonymity,
though desirable,
copulated and impregnated by many,
gives birth to anonymity when its my conjugate.

Dreams infinite of infinity,
conceived in lazy drooping moments,
in hastened whims die,
its mortal death

Ideas always,
like means-ends race,
lose,
trail behind its shape

White,everytime,
as the pages were,
is my mind, yet another time,
for yet another page, white.

Soil bathe my blood ,
Rise but not,
Crawl i'll untill. For
the star i seek
has lost my eyes.

Jo gar milo toh haal-e-dil na poochhna
Bas itna jaan lo ki ab fard bhi karte hain.

Seeking white

Somebody please cry
the loudest you can
lest i close my eyes,
run with legs fixed
and become a stone
Are the women all over dead?
for shrieks i beg
take me there or
i will vomit until -else
you die
for a while and then
i will cry
the loudest i can
lest you close your eyes
run with legs fixed
and turn into stone.

Me Manifesto

....

As you are gone...Gone Forever

My limbs shiver and not deliver
to continue the immortal-me dream.
Infinity has shrunk,absolute lost
the blurred-I has diminished.
The phoenix,hope hopen,
burnt into ashes, wet
by the heart-broke eyes.
Dead as a stoic
this heart-nostalgic
aches and long for you-
as you are gone
Gone forever.

Let's continue , Let's see

Yet again the sky turned grey
forming shapes,
my conscience desire not to decipher
I will sit down and wait,
not for the light,
this time
But the end of this tarred-black road
under the grey sky.

yet again

he is going to sleep
yet again.

A believer...

I promised to be God , said know me not
And she is human,utterly.
Believed me.
Alright,fine! they do.
I will keep the promise,will pretend
I will excuse,will love.

Love, A guilt?

And then i dive ,to float
in tandem as you in me,in you
And i learn not the slightest
from those dark drowned nights
that i am drunk and not me
in the trance tavern of you.
Oh! what a drunkard of my degree
would ask for but chalice
one more chalice and a fall into you.

those GREEN LEAVES and the STRUCTURE

What to say
Dogs ride
And
Bitches lay...
Destined plight
the considered destined plight
the love,the hate,the cry,the fight
then those green shiny leaves
green on white.
the SHE
a Blush 
and then all those She's
a Smile
structured
Unstructured
And then the totally broken ones
And the voted worst are the self voted,mass considered,mildewed,euphemised,Layered,virtuality real-ised
STRUCTURE....

the bitch

she came
oh she came with a duster
with miseries
and sorrows in a cluster.
i pleaded
she didn't realise
i cried
she will never sympathise
i will piss on her
and she will run
i donno
(if)she is a bastard
but she is a bitch for sure......

He/She

he came from a foreign land
and i was told to make him my friend
some were visible of their minds
and some told it from behind
i include my being in the latter case
coz the whole situation for me was out of phase
did the first man step on moon bare foot
he was given white space suit and a pair of safety boots
his steps were big for mankind
yes my steps really are bigger for my mind
let me wear my suit
and give me a pair of safety boots
i do want to climb and reach
but i have died a many times
and i dont want to repeat it,please.

an exasperation framed to capitalise

mediocrity has bitten me ever since my birth
ate away my highs and i am crying of its dearth
sky is the limit i was always taught
but i was born to hang on trees i never thought
thinking myself as alice and dreaming in wonderland
i lost even myself with traces in hand
obsessed with dreams,passionate for highs
i always tried to make a disguised strive
on monday he inspires me and my hopes arise
and on tuesday i taste the lowliest and realise(that)
mediocrity has bitten me ever since my birth
it has creeped into my being and i am no worth
oh i remember the last time i tried to break free
how it broke me and stranded me into an endless spree
and i thought
why is it like with every mediocre you get an optimist free

maa

wanna study in the laaltain,so dim,
on a bed so thin,
in those hot nights,
which made me perspire to the height.
I know i always wept with one drop.
But today i cry at heart and never stop.
I remember the day you slapped me,
and then you wrapped me
in your arms.
You don't slap,you don't wrap
I find there's a big gap

the loser

he is a brooder and thinks of it otherwise
and he is unknown that he does not know.
thinks of him, a thinker who thinks to the last
hence among those who are are not just unworthy past
ohhhh a brooder of degraded past.
He tells them the things, passed.
Rearranging the glory which he has lost.
He knows not the state he is seeking.
Coz the ones he had dreamt of, have fallen apart.
He used to love the good and the GOD.
He is an atheist and the good-s don't look at him anymore
fuck!!! he is a brooder and he is lost

an incomplete spasm

he will say it to her her
and she will know it someday that
the vanity of his being shruggs with shame infinite
that he believes in relativity in existence
and she is the co-ordinate
he will never see her
as she is his ideal defined
the absolute,the end,the full stop to infinite
which believers call god...
he will ever pray the she
and never stop the offerings ...